About

Read an excerpt from Michael’s book, “am I being kind”. . .

Life is good, really good. Sometimes I feel like the good karma train picked me up, and simply refuses to let me off. I have an amazing wife, a teenage son that makes me glow with pride, good health, a wonderful family and the best friends a guy could ask for. I have a lot to be grateful for. For many years now, “thank you” has become my meditation as I start each day.

But the truth is, life was not always this good. It wasn’t all that long ago, when the resume’ of my life looked radically different. At one time, my life was filled with nearly everything people try to avoid. Experiencing everything from unhappy relationships to financial struggles, poor health, depression, and an endless stream of negative habits was a part of my daily life. It seemed that no matter how hard I tried, happiness was constantly eluding me and disappointment became my shadow. It also seemed as if I was paving the way for a future that sadly resembled my father’s…until he took his own life at the age of 54.

My father’s suicide became a defining moment for me. Once the initial pain of losing him began to fade, I made a life-altering decision. On a cold, gray day in December of 2000, I stood at his grave site and made him a promise—a promise that not only would I change my own life . . . but I would also make a difference in the lives of others. I had no idea how or when this would happen, but for the first time in 30 years I felt as if I knew what my life was all about.

During the next several years, I completely immersed myself in the teachings of the world’s greatest personal and spiritual development gurus. Eckhart Tolle, Dr. Wayne Dyer, Ram Dass, and The Dalai Lama became some of my most influential teachers. At the time, my photography career was absolutely thriving, but my main focus had become discovering the secrets to happiness. I had become completely obsessed with the science of personal fulfillment both for myself, and with the thought of one day helping other people. Through workshops and spending way too much time in the self-help section at the bookstore (the employees there think I’m a total nut), I had literally learned hundreds of techniques for living a happier life.

But despite learning a variety of techniques for managing my emotions, something still seemed to be missing. Although the ideas I learned had a major impact on the quality of my life, I was still searching for that one universal path to happiness that worked for everyone. Whether you’re African-American, Caucasian, Native American, Asian, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu, Atheist, or have four legs and a tail—I knew there had to be something that benefited all of us, simply because we all want the same thing in life . . . to be happy.

Enlightenment and epiphanies can show up in some pretty strange ways. The Buddha found it under a Bodhi tree, Nelson Mandela in prison, and spiritual guru Ram Dass through psychedelic drugs. Little did I know my epiphany would arrive in the form of a hard-shelled reptile simply trying to cross the road—a turtle. But this wasn’t just any turtle; this was the world’s most optimistic one. He was tenaciously determined to cross 20 feet of tar as cars zoomed by at 55 mph. (Yes, I said he—only a male turtle would be stubborn enough to think he could actually make it.) But today was his lucky day. My wife’s quick driving reflexes not only ensured “turtle soup” would not be dinner that night, but her act of kindness would eventually become the foundation for everything I teach today. After missing him by mere inches, we both agreed we needed to turn around for what seemed like a simple rescue mission. Having found a safe place to park, I quickly hopped out of the car in hopes of beating any oncoming traffic. I had no idea my whole world was about to change.

As I made my way toward the middle of the road, a strange silence fell over the entire scene. There was no wind. No sounds of birds. Not a single car passed us the entire time we were there. All traffic on the normally busy road had completely stopped. Slowly walking toward the turtle, I could now see that this creature, which looked like a rock with legs, was making very little progress. That God would create something this slow and give him four legs almost seemed like a cruel joke. Bending down, I gently placed my fingers underneath him and cradled his body in the palms of my hands. As I rotated his shell, admiring his prehistoric-like features, his tiny head slowly began to emerge and we were now looking into each other’s eyes. That’s when “it” happened. In that moment, something strange, yet beautiful began to take place. As I stood there, making eye contact with this little turtle, a wave of pure joy came over me. It was that warm, teary-eyed sensation that we feel during life’s greatest moments, like falling in love or the birth of a child. I honestly felt as if my heart was completely opening up while everything stood still around me. In no way would I have described the experience as Buddha-like enlightenment, but there was no doubt about it—helping this little turtle just felt so damn good! But, why? After all, it’s just a turtle, right? And then it hit me. I finally realized what was happening.

After gently placing my new friend back into the woods, a flood of inspiring thoughts surged through me. I walked back to the car, opened my journal and wrote eight words that would later prove to be life-changing for me: “kindness creates happiness” and “live a life of kindness.” The simple act of helping my green guru had revealed that a benevolent act was the key to getting out of my analytical mind and into my intuitive heart space. I now understood that any thought, word, or act delivered from the heart had the power to dissolve emotional suffering. It was the answer I had been looking for. The secret to inner peace and lasting happiness was kindness. Not “random acts of” or simply being nice, but rather, kindness as a way of life. I had already known the benefits of kindness through studying many Eastern philosophies, but I had never actually considered it as a lifestyle! But, this day was just beginning . . .

30 minutes after my mini-epiphany, my wife and I arrived at our original destination—a country garden show. After we had walked around for a few minutes, a gentle-faced, 60-something-looking man waved me over to the front porch of his farmhouse, for no apparent reason. The entire setting was like a scene out of an old movie—weathered rocking chairs, the smell of cookies baking, and a coon cat that looked as old as the farmhouse itself. Gesturing toward my wife, he said, “Let her look around, come and sit with me.” I had no idea what to expect, but as I sank into the large wicker chair beside him, I couldn’t help feeling that he was going to say something profound. After all, if a turtle can change my life, why not a wise old farmer? Following a brief hello and a polite introduction, we then sat in silence and let the sunlight warm our faces.

After what seemed like an eternity, he finally spoke. “You know,” he said, “I’ve often thought that the meaning of life is making things a little bit easier for those around us, what do you think?” I was speechless. It felt like I had just been hit on the head again with life’s big karma stick. He went on to tell me his version of “the secrets to life” and how “true happiness can only be found by loving and serving others.” Finally he finished with, “oh, and don’t forget . . . you really gotta love the one you’re with . . . yourself.” Life was obviously trying to tell me something.

In the weeks that followed, the world looked completely different to me. The more I studied and tested my “kindness creates happiness” theory, the more I was blown away by its power. It seemed as if it was the cure to so many of life’s ailments. Negative emotions such as anger, depression, bitterness, jealousy, and hatred simply could not survive when confronted by thoughts or acts of kindness.

But there was more. Studies were showing that kindhearted people were receiving amazing benefits in life, such as fulfilling relationships, a lower rate of divorce, a strong sense of spirituality, relief from anxiety and depression, deep feelings of self-worth, jobs they loved, and they even lived longer! In addition to those benefits, kindhearted people also experienced “karmic kindness.” By thinking and acting in kinder ways, they were attracting new opportunities and positive events into their lives, proving that there are magnetic qualities to our thoughts and actions. It was a no-brainer. Kind people were happier, healthier, and had more fulfilling lives.

But, this also made me wonder: if kindness can create happiness, why are there so many unhappy people in the world? What is causing so much suffering? The answer was so incredibly obvious that I swear I heard the universe say, “duh!” If kindness creates happiness, then unkindness creates unhappiness. It was just that simple; people who are unkind toward others, the environment, and especially, themselves, end up being the unhappiest people on the planet.

This was a huge wake-up call to self-responsibility. I realized that most of my disappointments in life occurred simply because I had been unkind to others and myself. It was now clear that my years of approval-seeking and egotistical behavior were the greatest source of my problems. After spending most of my adult life thinking what’s in it for me, my new inner guidance became the question am I being kind. First seen in a morning meditation (yes, without the question mark), this one simple question changed my entire life. And although I still find it hard to believe, this query is now worn by thousands of people around the world in the form of a blue wristband. I still wear mine each day to remind myself to be kind to others, our beautiful planet, and of course, myself.

The way I personally defined the meaning of “am I being kind” was, “Would I want my son to behave in the way I am about to act?” Now, whenever I feel the need to argue with my wife, lash out at a rude employee in the mall, or even shove ten cookies into my mouth (obvious unkindness toward my body), I go within and ask, “am I being kind.” Using this question on a daily basis has become my source of inner and outer peace. It has created many positive changes in me such as recycling and acting more “green” while also consciously respecting all of life. I even stopped setting the mousetraps in my garage—not a completely popular move at our house.

Another big change in my life was the irresistible urge to perform “spontaneous acts of kindness.” Simple things like buying coffee for the person behind me in line and giving money to homeless individuals on the street just seemed natural. Even the small act of letting people ahead of me in traffic would send a blissful surge of energy through my chest. But what became even more exhilarating were the intense feelings of warmth I had toward everyone around me—especially difficult people. Whether there was someone who acted rude in traffic or an inconsiderate person in line at the grocery store, I no longer felt angry or offended; I simply wished for their happiness. That’s when I realized what it truly meant to be living kindness.

Just four months following my “turtle epiphany” (and with surprisingly little consideration), I completely shocked everyone around me by announcing that....

Read the rest of Michael’s extraordinary journey in his new book “am I being kind”